So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that
So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.
*goes to beach once* sand in shoes for 500 years
i’m frequently visited by three spirits at night
- the ghost of i fucked up
- the ghost of i’m currently fucking up
- and the ghost of i’m probably going to fuck up in the future
nothing annoys me more than people being like “LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE” when you find something offensive or disgusting like where am i learning to take this joke? to the fucking trash where it belongs?
This one is for Blake that fucking dickwad
yeah fuck you blake
sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis